From 1b33e67300ee164645fe888004e3033fb00d1acb Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Dimitri Sokolyuk Date: Tue, 4 Dec 2007 08:36:39 +0000 Subject: cleanup spaces --- bofh/excuses.txt | 46 +++++++++++++++++++++++----------------------- 1 file changed, 23 insertions(+), 23 deletions(-) diff --git a/bofh/excuses.txt b/bofh/excuses.txt index 4e1ff2b..3b5fa6a 100644 --- a/bofh/excuses.txt +++ b/bofh/excuses.txt @@ -41,7 +41,7 @@ not enough memory, go get system upgrade interrupt configuration error spaghetti cable cause packet failure boss forgot system password -bank holiday - system operating credits not recharged +bank holiday -- system operating credits not recharged virus attack, luser responsible waste water tank overflowed onto computer Complete Transient Lockout @@ -76,7 +76,7 @@ There isn't any problem Unoptimized hard drive Typo in the code Yes, yes, its called a desgin limitation -Look, buddy: Windows 3.1 IS A General Protection Fault. +Look, buddy: Windows 3.1 IS A General Protection Fault. That's a great computer you have there; have you considered how it would work as a BSD machine? Please excuse me, I have to circuit an AC line through my head to get this database working. Yeah, yo mama dresses you funny and you need a mouse to delete files. @@ -135,14 +135,14 @@ because of network lag due to too many people playing deathmatch You put the disk in upside down. Daemons loose in system. User was distributing pornography on server; system seized by FBI. -BNC (brain not (user brain not connected) +BNC (brain not connected) UBNC (user brain not connected) LBNC (luser brain not connected) -disks spinning backwards - toggle the hemisphere jumper. +disks spinning backwards -- toggle the hemisphere jumper. new guy cross-connected phone lines with ac power bus. had to use hammer to free stuck disk drive heads. Too few computrons available. -Flat tire on station wagon with tapes. ("Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurling down the highway" Andrew S. Tanenbaum) +Flat tire on station wagon with tapes. ("Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurling down the highway" Andrew S. Tanenbaum) Communications satellite used by the military for star wars. Party-bug in the Aloha protocol. Insert coin for new game @@ -204,7 +204,7 @@ Write-only-memory subsystem too slow for this machine. Contact your local dealer Just pick up the phone and give modem connect sounds. "Well you said we should get more lines so we don't have voice lines." Quantum dynamics are affecting the transistors Police are examining all internet packets in the search for a narco-net-traficer -We are currently trying a new concept of using a live mouse. Unfortuantely, one has yet to survive being hooked up to the computer.....please bear with us. +We are currently trying a new concept of using a live mouse. Unfortuantely, one has yet to survive being hooked up to the computer.....please bear with us. Your mail is being routed through Germany ... and they're censoring us. Only people with names beginning with 'A' are getting mail this week (a la Microsoft) We didn't pay the Internet bill and it's been cut off. @@ -213,16 +213,16 @@ Of course it doesn't work. We've performed a software upgrade. Change your language to Finnish. Flourescent lights are generating negative ions. If turning them off doesn't work, take them out and put tin foil on the ends. High nuclear activity in your area. -What office are you in? Oh, that one. Did you know that your building was built over the universities first nuclear research site? And wow, are'nt you the lucky one, your office is right over where the core is buried! +What office are you in? Oh, that one. Did you know that your building was built over the universities first nuclear research site? And wow, are'nt you the lucky one, your office is right over where the core is buried! The MGs ran out of gas. The UPS doesn't have a battery backup. -Recursivity. Call back if it happens again. +Recursivity. Call back if it happens again. Someone thought The Big Red Button was a light switch. -The mainframe needs to rest. It's getting old, you know. -I'm not sure. Try calling the Internet's head office -- it's in the book. +The mainframe needs to rest. It's getting old, you know. +I'm not sure. Try calling the Internet's head office -- it's in the book. The lines are all busy (busied out, that is -- why let them in to begin with?). Jan 9 16:41:27 huber su: 'su root' succeeded for .... on /dev/pts/1 -It's those computer people in X {city of world}. They keep stuffing things up. +It's those computer people in X {city of world}. They keep stuffing things up. A star wars satellite accidently blew up the WAN. Fatal error right in front of screen That function is not currently supported, but Bill Gates assures us it will be featured in the next upgrade. @@ -277,7 +277,7 @@ U.S. Postal Service Your Flux Capacitor has gone bad. The Dilithium Cyrstals need to be rotated. The static electricity routing is acting up... -Traceroute says that there is a routing problem in the backbone. It's not our problem. +Traceroute says that there is a routing problem in the backbone. It's not our problem. The co-locator cannot verify the frame-relay gateway to the ISDN server. High altitude condensation from U.S.A.F prototype aircraft has contaminated the primary subnet mask. Turn off your computer for 9 days to avoid damaging it. Lawn mower blade in your fan need sharpening @@ -319,8 +319,8 @@ Your EMAIL is now being delivered by the USPS. Your computer hasn't been returning all the bits it gets from the Internet. You've been infected by the Telescoping Hubble virus. Scheduled global CPU outage -Your Pentium has a heating problem - try cooling it with ice cold water.(Do not turn of your computer, you do not want to cool down the Pentium Chip while he isn't working, do you?) -Your processor has processed too many intructions. Turn it off emideately, do not type any commands!! +Your Pentium has a heating problem -- try cooling it with ice cold water. (Do not turn of your computer, you do not want to cool down the Pentium Chip while he isn't working, do you?) +Your processor has processed too many intructions. Turn it off emideately, do not type any commands!! Your packets were eaten by the terminator Your processor does not develop enough heat. We need a licensed electrician to replace the light bulbs in the computer room. @@ -338,16 +338,16 @@ the butane lighter causes the pincushioning old inkjet cartridges emanate barium-based fumes manager in the cable duct Well fix that in the next (upgrade, update, patch release, service pack). -HTTPD Error 666 : BOFH was here -HTTPD Error 4004 : very old Intel cpu - insufficient processing power -The ATM board has run out of 10 pound notes. We are having a whip round to refill it, care to contribute ? -Network failure - call NBC +HTTPD Error 666: BOFH was here +HTTPD Error 4004: very old Intel cpu -- insufficient processing power +The ATM board has run out of 10 pound notes. We are having a whip round to refill it, care to contribute ? +Network failure -- call NBC Having to manually track the satellite. Your/our computer(s) had suffered a memory leak, and we are waiting for them to be topped up. The rubber band broke We're on Token Ring, and it looks like the token got loose. Stray Alpha Particles from memory packaging caused Hard Memory Error on Server. -paradigm shift...without a clutch +paradigm shift... without a clutch PEBKAC (Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair) The cables are not the same length. Second-sytem effect. @@ -397,7 +397,7 @@ Mail server hit by UniSpammer. T-1's congested due to porn traffic to the news server. Data for intranet got routed through the extranet and landed on the internet. We are a 100% Microsoft Shop. -We are Microsoft. What you are experiencing is not a problem; it is an undocumented feature. +We are Microsoft. What you are experiencing is not a problem; it is an undocumented feature. Sales staff sold a product we don't offer. Secretary sent chain letter to all 5000 employees. Sysadmin didn't hear pager go off due to loud music from bar-room speakers. @@ -414,7 +414,7 @@ Cow-tippers tipped a cow onto the server. tachyon emissions overloading the system Maintence window broken We're out of slots on the server -Computer room being moved. Our systems are down for the weekend. +Computer room being moved. Our systems are down for the weekend. Sysadmins busy fighting SPAM. Repeated reboots of the system failed to solve problem Feature was not beta tested @@ -437,7 +437,7 @@ Daemon escaped from pentagram crop circles in the corn shell sticky bit has come loose Hot Java has gone cold -Cache miss - please take better aim next time +Cache miss -- please take better aim next time Hash table has woodworm Trojan horse ran out of hay Zombie processess detected, machine is haunted. @@ -451,4 +451,4 @@ Terorists crashed an airplane into the server room, have to remove /bin/laden. ( astropneumatic oscillations in the water-cooling Somebody ran the operating system through a spelling checker. Rhythmic variations in the voltage reaching the power supply. -Keyboard Actuator Failure. Order and Replace. +Keyboard Actuator Failure. Order and Replace. -- cgit v1.2.3